LOVE

I've been trying to teach my students about love lately. They are very good at saying "I love you" whenever they want something, or whenever they are trying to apologize. I had a talk with them about how much I love them, but how they are not showing love in return by their actions. They keep being really disrespectful, and then saying sorry...and...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I told them "Sorry doesn't always cut it." Yeah, I definitely have been quoting my mother! :) Last week I even cried in class and told them that I'm saddened by their actions toward me and each other. It was kind of funny because that day they learned the word "weep" and so a few of the boys came up to me after class and said "Teachah weep?". I have been told that Korean teachers only show anger, never sadness, so although to me it was a sign of weakness, to them it shows them how much I really care about them.

Its now halfway through the third week and some of the girls are finally holding my hand and hugging me. One girl even gave me a back massage on the weekend. We only have one week left of class and I am already thinking about the end, and how much I am going to miss them. They keep asking me to be their teacher during the school year.

Something that is very interesting is how obsessed they all are with couples, yet they do not understand what love it. They focus on money, and education, rather than true love, between a husband and a wife, but more importantly with God. As I've talked to them about love and acceptance of others, I've been stressing that only God's love is perfect and pure. I found out that however many rings you wear on your fingers, is how many boyfriends you have. So they keep guessing who my three boyfriends are! And when I tell them that I don't have a boyfriend, they mention a cousin or uncle of theirs that might be available.

You can be praying for my girls here. As we've gotten closer they have opened up about how they think that I am beautiful. Every day I hear how they would love to have my curly brown hair, my green eyes, my nose, and the shape of my eyes. I keep reminding them that God created us all different for a reason and this world would be boring if we all looked the same. I have also been mentioning their features that I think are beautiful. I know this is the age where girls and boys are insecure, but this is like nothing I have ever seen. It is so sad to see that they want to change EVERYTHING about how they look. I've come to the point where I'm going to start copying my mom again and say that it hurts God feelings when I say I don't like how I look, since He made me to be beautiful and in His Image.

Also, my feelings have been hurt a little bit by the Korean bluntness. Kids have said that they think my freckles are ugly...so again I repeated a family member (my grandma I think) and said my freckles are angels kisses...but they didn't go for that. They asked if I could get them removed, and when I said no, they asked how many I have, and proceeded to count over 75. Then they estimated how many were on the parts of my body that they couldn't see! The girls also say "Oh teachah, no makeups today?" It feels like I am being constantly watched and scrutinized, even judged. Pray that I will not take it personally or close off my heart because I am being hurt by their comments about my appearance, and their actions related to school issues.

Lastly, please pray for my leaders, and that we would continue to have respect for them. They have been making some decisions that many of us do not agree with, and it makes it even more difficult having my peers be my leaders. One has been really selfish, and left us to fend for ourselves and find our way home from the city on the weekend, simply because she wanted to stay and shop longer. Also, some disciplinary things such as certain teachers, not even in my camp, going against the rules and giving kids candy when they are being punished or something. In that area, I'm really afraid of it showing my students that they do not need to respect authority, or even that what they did really wasn't that bad. Pray that I could be patient and keep my mouth shut when I need to :)